Exclusive: Stard Again – Exclusive Return of Britain’s Slipperiest MP is Bad News for the Chancellor
by Rik Mayall Interviews And Articles Archive Blog
The Sunday Mail, 28th May 2006
By Steve Hendry Gordon Brown is facing his biggest leadership threat yet – from TV’s Westminster nasty Alan B’Stard.
The Chancellor might have No. 10 in his sights but Prime Minister Tony Blair still holds the keys – and B’Stard is barricading the front door.
The slippery Tory MP has switched to New Labour for his first comedy outing in 14 years in stage show The Blair B’Stard Project.
Comic star Rik Mayall, who brought Alan to life in TV comedy The New Statesman, admits any handover of power would spell disaster for B’Stard.
Rik said: “When a government needs bringing down, it’s a job for Alan. B’Stard always comes into action when a Prime Minister needs destroying.
“But we do have to be careful with the timing because, if Tony loses his job and Gordon takes over, it means the tour’s screwed. That’s a bit of a problem for us!
“We have to make sure Gordon doesn’t get the keys to No. 10 just yet.
We’ve kind of got a handle on that in the play.
“Without giving too much away, it might not be physically possible for him after this.
“Anyway, now that there’s no difference between the Conservative and Labour parties, it’s time for a charismatic and genuinely good-looking politician to take over the nation and that man’s Alan B’Stard.” Rik, 48, has made a welcome return to the award-winning role which he last played in 1992. The intervening years have been good to B’Stard, who has deserted the Tories, discovered Blair and invented New Labour.
The new show is written once again by Laurence Marks and Maurice Gran and stars Marsha Fitzallan as Mrs B’Stard, a role she also played on TV.
Rik has also promised some special treatment for First Minister Jack McConnell when the tour heads north to Edinburgh and Glasgow.
He said: “The only problem with such good writers is they update it all the time so rest assured that when we are in Scotland, I’ll get a pile of gags to learn.
“Personally, it’s just a pleasure and a joy having that freedom of comedy. Alan brought down the Thatcher Government years ago and now lives at No. 9 Downing Street and controls the Labour Party.
“And in theatre it means we can say or do what we want. Funnily enough, it couldn’t be on TV, which has become much more tyrannical and right wing than it used to be.
“Anyway, how else am I going to sleep with Condoleezza Rice? And it has a good cast. I did want to get Osama Bin Laden… but his agent couldn’t find him.”
Rik’s wife, Barbara, with whom he has three children – Rosie, 18, Sid, 16, and Bonnie, nine – is from Glasgow. They met when she was a make-up artist and he was at the BBC in Glasgow on A Kick Up The Eighties.
But she has not seen steamy loves scenes in the show. He said: “I have one of my best love scenes ever performed. I don’t enjoy it, of course. I’m just doing my job.
“I married a Glaswegian and Barbara hasn’t seen it yet so I’ve still got teeth.”