Brrrilliant! Cliff’s a Young One Again!

by Rik Mayall Interviews And Articles Archive Blog

For Look In, 12th April 1986

When the total and utter king of rock’n’ roll, Cliff Richard, got together with those horrid blighters The Young Ones to make a record, people must have wondered what had come over the world. OK, so Rick worships the very water Cliff walks on, but why did the honourable Cliff have to lower himself to such depths? Look-in found out…

There had to be a good reason for all this, and there is. It’s called Comic Relief, a comedy version of Band Aid, for which The Young Ones and Cliff got together to make their hit version of Living Doll, originally a hit for Cliff way back in 1959. (And it’s from another of his hits, The Young Ones, in 1962, that they pinched their name!)

All the artistes are giving their earnings from the single to charity: Shaky’s producer Stuart Coleman is among those who gave his services free. Most of the money will go to Oxfam and Save The Children’s work in Sudan and Ethiopia, funding famine relief, while some of the money will be spent on projects in Britain.

But just how could the truly wonderful Cliff bring himself to make a record with hippy Neil, punk Vyvian, ‘outrageous’ Rick and smoothie Mike, especially after they’d made fun of him so much on their BBC comedy series?

“They approached me with the idea and I liked it,” says Cliff. “I didn’t see much of the TV series and what I did see was ridiculous. It was a bit disgusting. But I don’t mind the Cliff Richard jokes. It was quite flattering to be filtered into the scripts.”

Throughout the series Rick went on about how wonderful he thought Cliff was. So how did he feel about meeting his hero and making a record with him? “I was quite worried about how we were going to get on,” says Rik. “I thought I was going to be embarrassed but he was terribly nice.”

Naturally, not everything went smoothly at the recording session. “We had to put Vyvian in a corner behind a screen because he was so bad we didn’t want Cliff to hear,” explains Mike.

The result is their strange-sounding but totally brilliant record, and it’s all for an absolutely utter, utter, utter… good cause!

Hey, kids, here’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. The words to the most fabulous hit song of all time (or something)…

 

LIVING DOLL
Cliff Richard and The Young Ones

 

Neil: Look everyone, he’s coming through the doors!

 

Vyv: Brilliant! He didn’t even open them!

 

Neil: He’s here!

 

Mike: Quick, Rick, do the speech.

 

Rick: Hey kids, stop snogging and pay attention to me, ‘cos it you’re a wild-eyed loner standing at the gates of oblivion, then hitch a ride with us because we’re on the last freedom moped out of nowhere city and we haven’t even told our parents what time we’ll be back. So put on your dancing trousers and get down to the total and utter king of rock and roll, Cliff Richard.

 

Cliff: Got myself a crying; talking sleeping walking living doll
Got to do my best to please her just ‘cos she’s a living doll
Got a rovin eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
Got the one and only walking talking living doll

 

Cliff: OK guys, ready

Vyv: Completely ready when you are, Shaky.

Cliff: Neil?

Neil: Does anyone know where the toilets are?

Cliff: Mike?

Mike: Does all this money really have to go to charity?

Rick: Yes it does, Michael. Hi Cliff, it’s, me!

Cliff: Who are you?

Rick: Great joke, your majesty.

Cliff: Got myself a crying talkrng sleeping walking living doll

Young Ones: Living doll

Cliff: Got to do my best to please her just ‘cos she’s a living doll

Young Ones: Living doll

Cliff: Got a rovin eye and that is why she satisfies my soul

Young Ones: Fies my soul

Vyv: Fies my soul?

Rick: Yes, Vyvian, its raunchy.

Mike: Shut up guys.

Vyv: What does this button do? (Explosion)

Cliff: Got the one and only walking talking living doll
Take a look at her hair, its real
If you don’t believe what I say, just feel

Mike: Do I know this girl?

Cliff: Gonna lock her up in a trunk

Young Ones: Trunk

Cliff: So no big hunk

Young Ones: Hunk

Cliff: Can steal her away frorn me

Young Ones: Get down!

Neil: OK.

Cliff: Got myself a crying talking sleeping walking living doll
Got to do my host to please her just’cos she’s a living doll

Vyv: Hey Cliff, I’ve just invented a great new sound. (Cracking)

Neil: Oww!

Mike: Untie Neil’s legs, Vyvian.

Cliff: Settle down chats.

Cliff: Got a rovin’ eye and that is why she satisfies my soul

All: Got the one and only walking talking living doll

Rick: OK, Daddy-o, lay the next funky riff on me!

Mike: He means, what happens now, Cliff?

Cliff: the instrumental break.

Vyv: Great, Cliff, what instruments do you want us to break?

Vyv: Piano… violin… diggery doo…

Rick: Vyvian’s trousers!

Vyv: Rick’s head!

Neil: Neil’s head!

Vyv: Cliffs head!

The other three: No!!

Rick: Well, take a look at her hair, it’s real

Neil: If you don’t believe what I say

Mike: just feel

Vyv: Gonna lock her up in a trunk

Mike: so no big hunk

Cliff: Can steal her away from me.

Rick: I still feel locking girls up in trunks is politically unsound.

Mike: It’s only a song, Rick.

Neil: Well, I feel sorry foi the elephant.

Cliff: Come on guys.

All: Got myself a

Neil: Crying

Vyv: talking

Mike: Sleeping

Rick: Walking

All: Living doll

Cliff: Living doll
Got to do my best to please her just’cos she’s a

All: Living doll

Cliff: All right guys, harmonies now!

All: Got a rovin’ eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
Got the one and only walking talking living doll
Got the once and only walking talking living doll

Cliff: Living doll

Cliff: Can I go now?

Rick: Er, thanks Cliff, ‘bye. Right kids, if you don’t buy this record you’re an utter utter utter utter utter… (Sound of record scratch)

 

 

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